What Becomes Of The Broken Heart
by itssquasha
Summary: Emily has a diary where she keeps her feelings bottled up. Alison disappeared and emily finds herself lost.
1. Chapter 1

**Emily has a diary where she keeps her feelings bottled up. Alison disappeared and Emily finds herself lost. **

_Day 1_

Disappeared? What do you mean disappeared? She wouldn't do that to me.

_Day 2_

Where is she? I'm not comfortable if she's not around. I have never been one day without her. She never stopped answering my texts for more than 2 hours, maybe 3 when she was at practice. Something's wrong. No, it's Ali... She's up to something.

_Day 3_

Three days. Three days have passed and not a sign from her. The police is asking questions. This day is never going to end. She wouldn't just leave me. Would she? Her phone is dead.

_Day 4_

I left the house to go looking for her. I know all her favorite places, she wasn't there. Nothing makes sense when she's not around. Never thought I could feel this worried. What is going on? Please come back...

_Day 5_

My head is aching from all the thinking.

_Day 6_

Worst week of my life.

_Day 7_

She's all I can think of, can't bare to lose my best friend. Can this be happening? I would never forgive myself if someone hurt her. "Don't cry Em", she used to say to me. I try to think of that words while the first tears start to burst. I'm disappointing her again.

_Day 12_

What is wrong with me, why do I keep calling her phone just to hear her voice when it goes to voice mail? I keep staring at her pictures, can't help but notice she's always smiling. I looked everywhere for her. My friends think she's okay somewhere, playing with our feelings. That's not the Ali I know.

_Day 14_

She's on the news. This hurts too much. I realize I loved her more than I thought I did.

_Day 19_

Aria, Hanna and Spencer came over. "You don't have to play strong Emily, we're here for you", one of them said. I was distracted looking at a picture of Alison to understand who said that.

_Day 21_

WHY DID YOU GO AWAY.

_Day 26_

I went to the library and I could feel my heart crack. Our first kiss. I never understood why I did it, or why she kissed me back. Now I know, and her lips are on my mind all day.

_Day 27_

I loved her as more than a friend. I just never had the chance to tell her in the right way. I'm not denying it anymore.

_Day 31_

Why Alison? Why not me or... I don't wanna say it, they're my friends too. But she was Ali, and I was always her favorite.

_Day 40_

She's been gone for 40 days, I've been counting. I'm starting to lose hope. I never thought I could miss someone so much. My eyes hurt from crying.

_Day_ 50

I can never love again.

_Day 52_

Aria, Hanna and Spencer know that i'm not the same girl anymore, not since Ali left.

_Day 57_

I miss the hair on her face. The dimples on her cheeks. Her hand in mine. Everything about her was special. I wanted to go to Paris...

_Day 66_

Maybe it's time to move on.

_Day 68_

There's no one like Alison, there could never be.

_Day 71_

Three months. I wouldn't know what to say to her if she came back now. If I would kiss her or yell at her. I don't know if i'm sad or angry that she left me. I'm not strong enough.

_Day 80_

The DiLaurentis family wants to do some kind of memorial. I can't say it out loud... Could she be...?

_Day 85_

I don't know what to wear to honor Ali. I found an old top of her in my wardrobe. Still smells like her. She broke my heart, I can't go, I don't know how to stop crying, I don't know how to stop missing her. And the only person who can make it okay again is her.

_Day 86_

It's the memorial day and I'm sensing her presence like she was standing right in front of me. I can't accept that she's gone for good. I thought time would make it easier, but it's not.

_Day 90_

I dreamt about her, that she was in a better place. I wonder if there's someone that she loved as much as I loved her.

_Day 93_

I don't know what normal feels like anyone.

_Day 94_

Some girl made me laugh in school. I had forgotten what that feels like. Her name was Paige.

**To be continued (probably)**


	2. Chapter 2

Remember that this fanfic does not follow the real time as the show.

**Alison's POV**

_Day 1_  
My world is upside down. "A" tried to kill me. My own mother buried me alive. I'm running away from everything I know.

_Day 2_  
Why me? I'm so gonna find out who that bitch is.

_Day 3_  
Surving alone isn't as easy as it seems. They're all going to miss me.

_Day 4_  
I think about Emily and how devastated she will be without me. There's something about her. Maybe it will make her strong, that's what she needs.

_Day 7_  
The comfort of my old home starts to gain weight on me, I wish everything was back to normal.

_Day 9_  
I start to value having someone who I can trust, I can't do this alone.

_Day 13_  
Never thought not seeing the girls for almost two weeks could get to me so quickly. I wonder if they hate me, I hope not. But they could never understand what i'm going through.

_Day 16_  
I miss the good in my life. When I think about good I see Emily... Sweet Emily.

_Day 18  
_I think about Emily more than I think about Aria, Spencer and Hanna. She didn't deserve losing me.

_Day 23_  
Everything is getting harder to deal with. I don't feel like myself lately.

_Day 28  
_If only regret could save me from this mess. I can't figure out who "A" is, I thought I knew, but I was wrong.

_Day 29  
_I wanna come home. I want to make things okay again. I need to see her, I need to see the only person that can bring the good in me. That's why I need her, she always saw the best version of me.

_Day 33  
_I know how I treated people, but I deserve a second chance.

_Day 40  
_I hope she's not crying over me. Things would be so simple if I could just tell her the truth.

_Day 50_  
I'm feeling numb, staying gone as become more easier now. But if Emily was with me, I would probably never think about coming back. She's in my mind all day, I let her kissed me once and I thought it was just practice for the real thing, but I realize now what it meant. Or maybe i'm confusing things. "Don't let it get to you, Alison"

_Day 61  
_I have to see her. Even if it means risking everything for her.

_Day 57  
_I saw her from a distance and I could not believe how beautiful she was. I miss her so much. And Aria, Hanna, and Spencer... I was so stupid to hurt them.

_Day 66  
_All I want is to tell Emily how much I regret hurting her. But "A" is always one step ahead of me. It's not save to come home yet.

_Day 70  
_"A" destroyed my life, took everything I love from me. Nothing hurts more. I guess I deserved it...

_Day 75  
_I wouldn't know what to tell Emily and the girls if I saw them right now. Too many things have happened, they would never trust me again.

_Day 79_  
"Be smart Alison, you always find a way"

_Day 87  
_I'm finally starting to trick "A"

_Day 90  
_I realize i'm not the same person I was, and that's okay. Emily would agree with me, words cannot tell how much I need and miss her.

_Day 94  
_I put on my red coat today and I saw Emily smiling again outside school. If only she was smiling to me. For a second, I was jealous of Paige. And in that moment, all forces of the universe were pushing me to go there and talk to Em. But "A" stopped me right there with a text: "She found another friend to kiss, let it go bitch - A"


End file.
